'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' -2 Corinthians 12:9-10
'When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.' -Psalm 34:17-19
This season has been heavy to my spirit, yet by God's grace I have endured and continue to do so. I was dependent on the little things to get me through the difficult days. Then the Lord reminded me the only way was to look up. To seek him. Upon reaching this point I didn't develop some super strength, but realized where my strength truly lies. Not in the sound of a child's laughter, nor a breath taking scenery- but in the grace of God alone. There were times I was depended on to be the strong one- but I'm not. The truth is I - am- weak. I am fallible. I am NOT sturdy. Upon stumbling upon the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 I found that through God's sufficient grace I had strength. Strength to weigh through heavy days. To endure. To persevere. There have been tears, and long restless nights- but I am living. I am pushing forward with hope towards the cross. My days spent on my knees in prayer. My face, when given a moment, pressed into the word of God. My spirit at war with my flesh. My flesh burning away a molecule at a time.
With each passing day I felt more and more alone. Even on the occasion that I was surrounded my others my heart was desperately lonely. Suddenly all those people that would have been there for me were busy or unable. Yet God remained faithful by giving wiser council and more compassionate hearts to surround me with the love and guidance I truly needed, I kept close to the promises of Deuteronomy 31:6 that God would never leave me or forsake me- and he remained true time and time again. There were and have been points where God alone has been the only one there for me. It is a troublesome thing to feel alone, and a reassuring thought to know I never am. For God is always with me. Will there be days ahead filled with grief and affliction? Absolutely! But will I ever be alone? Never! As sure as I am that there are days of trial and tribulation ahead I am sure it is never for nothing God does not intend, and that he will constantly be at my side. I may mourn and weep- but I also may dance and sing with joy, because I have hope. I have a mightier God on my side. "If God is with me what can stand against"? In hope of future grace I press forward willingly. I may press forward against a heavy wall, but surely I will press forward with the strength of the Lord. Mighty is he! Wonderful is he! Worthy of praise even in affliction is he! By my weary side- is he!
'I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes it boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together! I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.' -Psalm 34:1-5
